Five Strategies for Coping with Grief
by Dr. Lisa Henderson Hubbard
Wikipedia defines grief as the response to loss, particularly the loss of
someone or some living thing that has died, to which a bond or affection was
formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, grief
also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, cultural, spiritual, and
philosophical dimensions. “Grief is the normal and natural emotional reaction to
loss or change of any kind. Of itself, grief is neither a pathological condition nor a
personality disorder.” (Grief Recovery Institute, 2019).
Grief is universal. At some point, everyone will have at least one encounter
with grief. Grief is also very personal. It’s not very neat or linear. It doesn’t follow
any timelines or schedules. You may cry, become angry, withdraw, or feel empty.
None of these things are unusual or wrong. Everyone grieves differently, but there
are some commonalities in the stages and the order of feelings experienced during
grief.
The 5 Stages of Grief is a theory developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-
Ross. It suggests that we go through five distinct stages after the loss of a loved
one. These stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.
Grief is something that everyone will have to experience at some point in their life.
The Bible tells us that there is a time to live and a time to die. Therefore, we
will all experience the loss of a loved one or living thing during our lifetime. In my
55 years of life, I have experienced grief many times; each time, my grief process
was very different. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The most important
thing about grief is to let it happen and seek help along the way.
This article will give you five tips to help your grief process. You may find
some of these tips helpful and some of them not applicable to your situation. Use
what helps and ditch the rest. Here are a few of the losses that I have experienced
and by the grace of God, I lived to tell you how I made it through. Grief struck me
with the loss of a baby by miscarriage, the death of my great grandparents,
grandparents, and parents, and the death of a close friend.
Here are five strategies that helped me to cope with my grief. I hope they will help
you, too.
- Prayer and prayer partners
- Doing something to honor my loved ones
- Sharing the story of my loved ones and learning more about them from
other’s eyes - Being honest with my support group when I was struggling so they could
offer the support I needed. - Find your purpose in life and live out that purpose.
Praying daily and asking God for the strength you need to get through the day, is a
great coping skill. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says, “Pray without ceasing.” God is the
only one who can give us the strength we need to get through grief. Psalms 34:18
says, “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a
contrite spirit.” It is also important to have someone that can pray for you when
you can’t pray for yourself. This has to be someone who is committed to you and
God. A prayer partner is someone that will know to pray for you before you ask.
Honoring your loved one can help you to hold on to the positive memories which
will bring joy to your heart and a smile to your face. Starting a foundation of some
sort or supporting a foundation in honor of your loved one is a way to keep your
loved one’s legacy alive. Whatever good thing your loved one was known for is
usually what you should continue doing to keep their legacy alive. Serving others
in need, helps you to take the focus off of your pain. My mom was known for
helping others be the best that they could be by always being honest and telling
them the hard truth. So now, I use my counseling business to help people be the
best they can be by telling them the hard truth.
One of the most heart warming things that happened after the death of my mom,
was hearing a story about her from one of her former employees. I also received a
lot of peace from telling people the stories of how my mother made me laugh all
the time with her quaint sayings. I say them all the time in her honor.
Being honest with my support people when I am having a bad day, helps them to
help me through my bad day. Sometimes we need to just be alone in our grief, but
it is important to let someone know that is what we are doing so they won’t worry
themselves or worry us. When you let them know this, they can also pray for you
during this time.
Finding your purpose is the best way to continue living after loss. You have
to realize that we are all placed on this earth to serve out our purpose God will
make sure we do that no matter what happens in our lives to try to disrupt our path.
I believe that when our loved ones die, it means that they have fulfilled their
purpose in life and if we want to see them again, we must do the same.
Although these are not the only strategies that can help when you are
grieving, I do believe that these strategies are helpful. Everyone will have a
different grieving journey and there is no right or wrong way to grieve. The most
important thing to remember is to allow yourself to feel how you feel and take as
much time as you need to work through your grieving process.
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